You’re not alone in feeling alone

The British Red Cross is reaching out to adults of all ages in Plymouth who feel lonely this Christmas.

After finding that more than 9 million people across the UK are always or often lonely the charity is showing those affected they are not alone in feeling alone and encouraging them to get in touch with its new local service for support.

John Ball, 71, from Plympton, understands what it’s like to feel lonely.  Last December, John spent Christmas on his own after losing his second wife, Marie, to cancer a few months earlier. He knew that Christmas without her would be a difficult and emotional milestone.

“I knew what was coming because I’d already been through it once” explained John, whose first wife, Janet, had died when she was just 44 years old. “I knew how lonely I would feel without Marie. I didn’t want anyone to feel obliged to invite me to Christmas dinner, so I took myself away on a coach holiday to Nottingham. Yet simple things like watching people get off the coach in couples as I followed along by myself really brought it home how lonely I was.”

Last year, a study by the Co-op and British Red Cross revealed epidemic levels of loneliness and social isolation in the UK. It has also been found that a lack of social connections has been reported to be as damaging to health as obesity, with links made to lowered life span, high blood pressure, risk of dementia and symptoms of depression.

In response, the Red Cross has introduced Co-op funded Connecting Communities services in almost 40 areas across the UK where it has identified high levels of additional need – including Plympton and Devonport in Plymouth.

The service provides practical and emotional support to help individuals rebuild their independence and rediscover their interests, leaving them enjoying the benefits of feeling more involved and connected to their local area. Support is available to anyone aged 18 or over experiencing or at risk of loneliness.

Having coped with the deaths of two wives and endured his own health problems, including a quadruple heart by-pass when he was 49 years old, John has found ways of managing by himself.

“I keep myself busy playing my guitar, drawing or gardening, and I play golf once a week but I do still feel isolated. You know that when you go into the house and close the door you’re on your tod.

“You have to think differently when you’re by yourself. You can’t go out on a night and have one-too-many because you have to get yourself back home safely. When I cut my grass now, I always leave the gate open because if I were to fall or have an accident no one would know I was there.”

When John saw the Red Cross service advertised he thought his personal experiences would enable him to help others who were dealing with loneliness. He’s signed up as a Red Cross volunteer and is hoping to start supporting someone in his community soon.

“I didn’t become a volunteer for any fantastic reason. I just knew that I would have empathy and understanding for people who are feeling lonely. I thought it would be nice to sit down with someone and just have a chat; to help someone along a bit and think about how they can start moving forward. I know that looking backwards is much more painful than thinking about taking that next step. If I can help someone move on, maybe by joining them for the first time they try a new activity, then I feel I will be making a positive difference.”

Across the UK, the Red Cross are helping thousands of adults of all ages reconnect with their communities. The ‘Trapped in a Bubble’ research shows that 75 per cent of people who are regularly lonely don’t know where to turn for support. Whether you’re struggling with life’s demands or simply don’t know where to go for a friendly chat, Red Cross volunteers like John are ready and willing to help.

For more information about volunteering, or to help someone affected by loneliness or social isolation receive support, contact the British Red Cross Plymouth Community Connector service at ConnectPlymouth@redcross.org.uk or call 01235 552 660.