Dying Jo's latest blog will wrench your heart

"Mummy I don't want you to die, I would miss you too much if you were a star.

"If the doctors can't make you better I may be able too, I'm a vet. Now sit down so that I can inspect you."(I think he meant examine)

"If you're tired mummy we can have a lovely play-cuddle together on the sofa under the duvet, that always makes you feel better."

It is the living in fear that is the worst. I am living in fear of leaving my only child, my beautiful little boy who has changed my life forever. My little boy who has shown me a love I never knew was possible, my joy, my friend, my life.

Rudey wakes up singing every morning.. Then he runs into my bedroom and gently kisses me on the lips to wake me up (even though I am always awake). I am terrified every night I try to go to sleep that one morning he is going to run in and not be able to wake me up. I struggle to sleep as if i'm awake I know I'm alive.

Living in fear is so hard. People say 'oh you could get hit by a truck tomorrow, you never know' but you don't live in fear of that every minute of every day as it is not inevitable. If I don't do something there is no doubt.. My diseases will kill me. It will change my baby boy's life forever. And not in the amazing way that he has changed mine.

I can't leave him, he is too precious. He is too perfect, just as he is.

But recently I have had an overwhelming feeling that everything is going to be ok. There is no other option. Although I haven't always believed it fully, my favourite saying (since diagnosis) is "everything will be okay in the end, if it's not okay, it's not the end."

I believe this and I hope you believe in me too, as much as my little Rudey Roo.

....

Jo is the only person in the world with two rare terminal conditions where treating one would mean the other will kill her.

The 37-year-old suffers from a blood vessel disorder called pulmonary hypertension and has lymphatic cancer. Baffled doctors say that the odds of suffering from both is over 5 billion-to-one.

Jo, who lives near Stoke Cannon, can't have a heart and lung transplant, the only cure for pulmonary hypertension, because the anti rejection medication she would have to take would cause the cancer to grow rapidly.

Previous attempts to save Jo have so far proved unsuccessful, including flying to Thailand to receive medical treatment which did not materialise, and appealing to the public for suggestions of help.

But her hopes were raised when an opportunity came to visit renowned scientist Thomas Incledon who will carry out hundreds of tests to find out the root cause of her illness and devise an individualised treatment plan.  Thomas will be introducing Jo to some of the best medical doctors in the world, who will work along side him to help Jo.

However, she needs to raise £70,000 to make the trip and pay the medical fees.

If you would like to help save Jo's life, you can make a donation here: https://www.youcaring.com/jo-smith-447797

See also: Dying Jo makes a video in her appeal for help: http://www.theexeterdaily.co.uk/news/business-daily-local-news/dying-jo-...